Why Is My Wife Yelling At Me

When you are dealing with a yelling spouse it takes patience, patience, and more patience to address the things that are underneath the yelling itself. Try not to look at (the situation) as a battle to be won, but as a problem to be solved with everyone together.

Active Listening Skills To Minimize Conflict

An active listening strategy is a great deal of resolving conflict. And it means listening 100 percent to what your wife is saying without reflexively retorting, becoming defensive, or counterattacking. That translates to keeping eye contact, nodding to imply that you are listening, and then paraphrasing what she’s said to demonstrate that you are comprehending.

For example, if your wife says that she feels like you’re not helping enough, you could respond by saying, “I hear you’re upset because of feeling unsupported” “Can you just tell me what you need from me?’” Validation her feelings and the opening of the dialog for constructive communication is one of the best things you could do for her.

Don’t react with dismissiveness, such as, “You’re overreacting,” or “Why are you yelling?” Just saying so can be an opening to create tension and feel at times that your wife is being invalidated. Rather, let her feel that you acknowledge her emotions at the same time that you guide the conversation to solutions.

An especially important part of active listening, on the other hand, is grasping the emotion behind words. Often when we yell, we are masking hurt, fear, or frustration. And knowing these emotions will help you work on the root cause of the conflict, and not just the argument itself.

Marriage Crisis Solutions – Conflict Resolution Techniques That Work

Conflict resolution tends to focus on constructive issues, being based on the terms to find common ground. There is one simple way to do that and that means using “I” statements instead of “You” statements. For example, let’s explain: “When you speak to me that way I feel hurt,” instead of “You’re always yelling at me.” By following this approach, however, blame is reduced and open communication is encouraged.

The other important step is to establish boundaries, clear boundaries. For example, maybe you agree as a couple not to resort to raising your voice during your discussions and agree to pause discussions when they get heated. “Can the two of us create a shared commitment to calm communication and therefore prevent future arguments from spiraling out of control?”

Humor, used as needed, can sometimes be a useful tool. In the heat of the moment, a lighthearted comment will diffuse tension, taking a step back and getting perspective can be bolstered. But just make sure that your humor doesn’t sound dismissive or insensitive.

Lastly, win it or lose it, learn and move on. It’s not a competition, it’s a partnership. Instead of trying to prove a point, focus on mutual understanding and finding a way that works in your favor.