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HomeMental HealthNegative Self Talk

12 Minutes

Edited & medically reviewed by THE BALANCE Team
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Did you know that the average person has 50,000-70,000 thoughts per day, and up to 80% of them are negative? Many of us engage in negative self-talk without even realizing it, but the consequences can be damaging to our mental health, according to a report from Harvard Health Publishing.

A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that negative self-talk can have a significant impact on our mental health and well-being. Negative self-talk is a common behavior that can lead to feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem, according to the American Psychological Association.

Studies have further shown that negative self-talk can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, and fatigue. As per a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, 80% of respondents reported experiencing negative self-talk at least once a week.

While it’s natural to have some negative thoughts from time to time, persistent negative self-talk can be a sign of a deeper issue and should be addressed.

Negative self-talk is an inner dialogue characterized by pessimistic and self-critical thoughts, which can decrease self-esteem, motivation, and performance. It can be defined as the negative language used by an individual towards themselves in their mind or verbally [1]. 

Types

Negative self-talk can be classified into four types: personalizing, catastrophizing, filtering, and polarizing [2]. Personalizing involves taking responsibility for things outside of one’s control, while catastrophizing involves predicting the worst possible outcome. Filtering is when an individual focuses on the negative aspects of a situation while polarizing is when an individual thinks in extremes, such as “I’m either perfect or a complete failure.”

Mechanism

The mechanism of action of negative self-talk involves a negative self-fulfilling prophecy, where an individual’s beliefs influence their actions, leading to a self-fulfilling outcome. This mechanism has been studied in cognitive neuroscience research, which found that negative self-talk is associated with changes in functional connectivity in specific brain regions [3].

Risk Factors

Negative self-talk has been linked to various risk factors, including depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Individuals with a history of emotional or physical abuse, neglect, or trauma are also at an increased risk of negative self-talk [1]. Additionally, perfectionism and self-criticism have been associated with negative self-talk [2].

To counteract negative self-talk, positive self-talk can be used. Positive self-talk involves using positive and affirming language toward oneself. Positive self-talk has been found to have various benefits, including increased self-esteem, motivation, and performance. However, the effects of positive self-talk may depend on the context and the individual’s beliefs [2].

Effects

Research suggests that negative self-talk can have detrimental effects on performance in various domains, including sports and academic performance. For instance, in a study conducted in 2021, participants who acknowledged a challenge following negative self-talk showed improved performance compared to those who did not [4]. Another study found that increasing awareness of negative self-talk and developing motivation to change it can improve athletes’ performance [1].

Negative self-talk operates through a self-fulfilling prophecy mechanism and is associated with various risk factors, including depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Positive self-talk can counteract negative self-talk and has been found to have various benefits. Raising awareness of negative self-talk and developing motivation to change it can lead to improved performance.

As human beings, we are prone to negative thoughts and self-talk due to a variety of reasons. Negative self-talk can be defined as an internal dialogue where we criticize or judge ourselves harshly, leading to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem [5]. Here are some of the reasons why we are prone to negative thoughts and self-talk:

Evolutionary Survival Mechanism: According to evolutionary psychology, our ancestors had to constantly be on alert for threats and dangers in their environment to survive. As a result, our brain has evolved to pay more attention to negative experiences than positive ones. This natural tendency, called the negativity bias, makes us more prone to negative thoughts and self-talk [5].

Early Life Experiences: Childhood experiences shape the way we view ourselves and the world around us. If we grew up in an environment where we received criticism, rejection, or neglect, we may internalize these experiences and develop negative beliefs about ourselves [5].

Cultural and Social Conditioning: Our culture and social environment can also influence the way we think and feel about ourselves. We are often bombarded with messages that suggest we need to be perfect, successful, and attractive to be happy and fulfilled. When we don’t measure up to these standards, we may engage in negative self-talk to cope with our perceived shortcomings [6].

Cognitive Distortions: Negative self-talk is often fueled by cognitive distortions, which are inaccurate and irrational ways of thinking. For example, if we make a mistake, we may automatically assume that we are a failure and beat ourselves up for it. This type of all-or-nothing thinking can lead to negative self-talk and undermine our self-esteem [5].

Negative self-talk refers to the critical and unhelpful internal dialogue that individuals engage in, which can be harmful to their mental and emotional well-being [7]. Negative self-talk can manifest in different forms, including self-criticism, self-blame, self-doubt, and self-sabotage [8]. Here are ten ways in which negative self-talk can be harmful.

Low self-esteem: Negative self-talk can contribute to feelings of worthlessness, inadequacy, and failure, leading to a negative impact on one’s self-esteem [7].

Self-doubt: Negative self-talk can lead to self-doubt, causing individuals to question their abilities, talents, and skills [7].

Anxiety: Negative self-talk can create unrealistic and negative scenarios in one’s mind, leading to anxiety and stress [7].

Depression: Negative self-talk can contribute to feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and helplessness, leading to depression [8].

Fear: Negative self-talk can create fear and phobias, making individuals feel anxious and avoidant [10].

Perfectionism: Negative self-talk can lead to perfectionism, making individuals believe that nothing they do is ever good enough [9].

Self-sabotage: Negative self-talk can cause individuals to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, such as procrastination, which can prevent them from achieving their goals [7].

Negative mindset: Negative self-talk can create a negative mindset, leading to negative emotions, beliefs, and perceptions [8].

Limiting beliefs: Negative self-talk can create limiting beliefs, causing individuals to believe that they are not capable of achieving their goals [9].

Relationship problems: Negative self-talk can affect interpersonal relationships, causing individuals to feel insecure, jealous, and overly critical of others [7].

Negative self-talk can have a significant impact on an individual’s mental and emotional well-being, leading to negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors [8]. It is essential to learn strategies to combat negative self-talk to avoid the harmful effects it can have.

Here are ten methods that can help you combat negative self-talk:

Recognize your negative self-talk: The first step in combatting negative self-talk is to recognize it. Pay attention to the thoughts that run through your mind and how they make you feel. Many of us are so used to negative self-talk that we don’t even realize we are doing it. By becoming more aware of your thoughts, you can begin to challenge them [7].

Challenge negative thoughts: Once you recognize your negative self-talk, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if they are based on fact or just your perception. Often, our negative self-talk is based on irrational beliefs and assumptions. By challenging these thoughts, you can begin to see things more objectively [7].

Reframe your thoughts: Reframing your negative thoughts into positive ones is an effective way to combat negative self-talk. Instead of saying “I’m not good enough,” say “I am capable of doing this.” By reframing your thoughts, you are changing the way you perceive yourself and your abilities [8].

Use positive affirmations: Positive affirmations are statements that you repeat to yourself to reinforce positive beliefs about yourself. For example, you might repeat the affirmation “I am worthy” or “I am loved.” Using positive affirmations can help you reprogram your thinking and create a more positive self-image [10].

Practice self-compassion: Practicing self-compassion is an essential part of combatting negative self-talk. Often, we are much harder on ourselves than we would be on a friend going through a similar experience. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, and be gentle with yourself when things don’t go as planned. Remember that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process [9].

Focus on your strengths: Focusing on your strengths and what you do well can help counteract negative self-talk. Celebrate your accomplishments and give yourself credit for your successes. Recognize that you have unique talents and abilities that contribute to the world around you [7].

Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present at the moment and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Practicing mindfulness can help you become more aware of your negative self-talk and learn to let it go. It can also help you stay present and focus on the positive aspects of your life. There are many ways to practice mindfulness, including meditation, deep breathing, and yoga [10].

Surround yourself with positivity: Surrounding yourself with positivity can help combat negative self-talk. Spend time with people who uplift and inspire you. Listen to uplifting music, read positive books, and watch inspiring movies. Surrounding yourself with positivity can help you feel more positive and optimistic about yourself and your life [8].

Take action: Taking action to change the situation that is causing your negative self-talk can help reduce your negative thoughts. When we feel like we have no control over a situation, it can be easy to slip into negative self-talk. By taking action, we regain a sense of control and can reduce our negative thoughts. For example, if you are unhappy in your job, taking steps to find a new job can help you feel more positive and optimistic about your future [9].

Seek professional help: If negative self-talk is interfering with your daily life, it may be helpful to seek the support of a mental health professional. A therapist can help you identify the underlying causes of negative self-talk and develop strategies to combat it [9]. Therapy can also provide a safe space to process difficult emotions and experiences.

Negative self-talk can be harmful and can have a significant impact on our mental health and well-being. However, there are many ways to combat negative self-talk and cultivate a more positive and compassionate inner dialogue. By practicing self-awareness, using positive affirmations, focusing on the positive, and seeking professional help when needed, individuals can learn to overcome negative self-talk and live a more fulfilling life.

Negative self-talk can be damaging to our mental health and well-being, but there are several therapies available to help individuals overcome negative self-talk and cultivate a more positive inner dialogue. Here we will discuss negative self-talk therapies and how they can help individuals combat negative self-talk and improve their mental health.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of talk therapy that is effective in treating a wide range of mental health concerns, including negative self-talk [11]. CBT focuses on identifying and challenging negative thoughts and beliefs and replacing them with more realistic and positive ones. A therapist trained in CBT can help individuals learn to recognize negative self-talk patterns and develop strategies to challenge and replace them.

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is a type of therapy that focuses on developing psychological flexibility and acceptance of difficult emotions and experiences [12]. ACT can help individuals learn to observe their negative self-talk without getting caught up in it and develop a more accepting and compassionate attitude toward themselves. ACT can also help individuals identify their values and goals and develop strategies to work towards them despite difficult emotions and negative self-talk.

Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR)

Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) is a type of self-talk therapy that involves mindfulness meditation and other mindfulness practices [9]. MBSR can help individuals develop greater awareness of their thoughts and emotions, including negative self-talk, and learn to observe them without judgment. MBSR can also help individuals develop greater compassion for themselves and others, and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a type of therapy that was originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder but is effective in treating a range of mental health concerns, including negative self-talk [12]. DBT focuses on developing skills to manage difficult emotions and interpersonal relationships and includes elements of mindfulness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance. DBT can help individuals learn to observe and accept their negative self-talk without judgment and develop strategies to manage and reduce it.

Compassion-focused therapy (CFT)

Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) is a type of therapy that focuses on developing compassion and kindness towards oneself and others [11]. CFT can help individuals in identifying and challenging negative self-talk and developing a more compassionate and supportive inner dialogue. CFT can also help individuals develop greater resilience and emotional regulation skills, and reduce feelings of shame and self-criticism.

Negative self-talk can be a harmful habit that undermines our self-esteem, mental health, and overall well-being. However, by becoming aware of our negative self-talk patterns and actively challenging them, we can learn to reframe our thoughts more positively and constructively. 

Some strategies for overcoming negative self-talk include mindfulness, cognitive-behavioral therapy, self-compassion, and positive affirmations. It’s important to remember that changing our self-talk takes time and effort, but the benefits are worth it. By cultivating a more positive and compassionate mindset, we can boost our confidence, reduce stress, and improve our relationships with ourselves and others. 

Whether it’s through therapy, journaling, or meditation, finding a strategy that works for you can make all the difference in overcoming negative self-talk and leading a happier, more fulfilling life.

  1. Hardy, James, Ross Roberts, and Lew Hardy. “Awareness and motivation to change negative self-talk.” The Sport Psychologist 23.4 (2009): 435-450. https://journals.humankinetics.com/view/journals/tsp/23/4/article-p435.xml
  2. Tod, David, James Hardy, and Emily Oliver. “Effects of self-talk: A systematic review.” Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology 33.5 (2011): 666-687. https://journals.humankinetics.com/view/journals/jsep/33/5/article-p666.xml
  3. Kim, Junhyung, et al. “The effects of positive or negative self-talk on the alteration of brain functional connectivity by performing cognitive tasks.” Scientific Reports 11.1 (2021): 1-11. https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1038/s41598-021-94328-9.pdf
  4. DeWolfe, Christopher EJ, David Scott, and Kenneth A. Seaman. “Embrace the challenge: Acknowledging a challenge following negative Self-Talk improves performance.” Journal of Applied Sport Psychology 33.5 (2021): 527-540. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10413200.2020.1795951
  5. How to Challenge Negative Self-Talk. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/lib/challenging-negative-self-talk#why-we-do-it
  6. Mayo Mindfulness: Overcoming negative self-talk. Mayo Clinic. https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/mayo-mindfulness-overcoming-negative-self-talk/
  7. Constantly Down on Yourself? How To Stop Negative Self-Talk. Cleveland Clinic. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-negative-self-talk-and-how-to-change-it/
  8. The Toxic Effects of Negative Self-Talk. Very Well Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304
  9. 7 Ways to Combat Negative Self-Talk. Footprints To Recovery. https://footprintstorecovery.com/blog/combat-negative-self-talk/
  10. How to stop negative self-talk. Headspace. https://headspace.com/mindfulness/stop-negative-self-talk
  11. I Use This 5-Minute Therapy Technique Every Day for My Anxiety. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/self-talk-exercises
  12. Negative Self-Talk: 4 CBT Strategies To Overcome Harmful Internal Dialogues. Zencare. https://blog.zencare.co/negative-self-talk-overcome

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