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How to Stage an Intervention: Our Expert Insights

5 Minutes

Medically reviewed by Dr. med. Sarah Boss
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When a loved one is struggling with an addiction, staging an intervention can be the thing that saves their life. But it’s not an easy thing to do. It’s crucial to meticulously plan every step: before, during, and after. If not done correctly, an intervention can exacerbate the situation and isolate the addict further. There are clear guidelines to ensure success. It’s important to remember that an intervention does not to be carried out alone. An expert can assist in the process and prepare the group. Our expert addiction therapist, Enrique Balasch Torres, has years of experience preparing loved ones for this moment. We sat down with him to discuss the dos and don’ts of staging an intervention to ensure its success.

When you stage an intervention, you want to gather everyone who has an emotional relationship with the addict. The more, the better. Our expert, Enrique Balasch Torres, suggests striving for at least six people in the room. This is because six voices are far more powerful than one. If the conversation is between the addict and one or two people, then there is room for debate. If six or more people are together saying the same thing, there is no space for the addict to try to manipulate the situation. There is no valid justification the addict can come up with against six voices.

When preparing for an intervention, you need to plan far in advance. By the time you confront the addict, you want all the logistics locked into place. The car should be packed, flights booked, and the rehab awaiting your arrival. Once the details are locked into place, it’s time to prepare the group emotionally and psychologically. Our expert, Enrique Balasch Torres, has helped several people prepare for this moment. “There needs to be a few sessions with the group before the intervention happens.” He briefs them on what to say and how to say it. The key to this preparation is how serious the group needs to be for this moment. “If there is any doubt or insecurity in your eyes, the addict will eat you alive.” If they sense there is room to manipulate you or change the circumstances, they will. The family must be ready to let go of their loved one before entering the room. The other reason for advanced planning is that there is a tiny window of time to get the addict to rehab after an intervention. It has to happen at that moment, not a promise to go in the future, even if the future is tomorrow. It is an incredibly time-sensitive decision, so the execution is as important as the plan.

All people with an addiction have the same pattern. They promise that they will change. They may even convince themselves for a moment. The break and binge. They wake up with remorse. They regret it. The cycle continues. Eventually, something significant happens. That is the moment for an intervention. “You need to catch them,” says Torres. “I tell families all the time that they have to wait. It can’t be a minor issue. It has to be big. They crashed the car, or they got pulled over by the police for drunk driving. They are in the hospital. They got drunk around their kids. The addict’s psyche cannot justify their actions. It’s not possible. This is the moment you have to catch them in.” The addict should not be under the influence when you confront them. Oftentimes, an intervention is staged the morning after this aftermath. The group enter the addict’s room while they are sleeping or just waking up. The timing of this is imperative to the success of the intervention.

Everyone needs to understand the goal of the intervention: to get the addict into rehab. In order for that to happen, the group’s message has to be the same and delivered in unison. That is when it becomes powerful. Torres says the message should follow this script: “We all know you have a problem, we all know the problem is (Insert substance), and we know there is a solution. We won’t keep sustaining or supporting this problem or the excuses and justifications that come with it.” It can begin with love. “We love you. We want the best for you. We care for you deeply.” Then you turn it into tough love. “But we are ready to drop you. We are done supporting you.” From there, you present the addict with two options. “Option one: You will lose all of us, and we will step away, leave this house, and never come back. You will be left alone with your addiction. You can choose your addiction, but we are not going to witness it. We are done. The second option is to open the door, and remain supporting them. That option is rehab. That’s it.” There can only be these two options. Either you keep us in your life, or you lose us. 

An intervention is not the time to negotiate or find a reason for the behaviour. The minute there is a conversation, the addict knows there is still time to manipulate their loved ones and make false promises. “If the addict senses a variation of opinions, they will prey on it,” says Torres. The group needs to understand that tough love is the only thing that will save the addict’s life. When confronted with these options, the addict knows there is nothing else they can do to escape the situation. In their mind, they believe they can go to rehab, pretend to be better, and go back to their addiction. Many have this mindset. The best rehabs know this and prepare for it accordingly.

An intervention has the ability to save an addict’s life – but only if carried out correctly. Be sure to plan. Make sure all logistics are set up before the intervention takes place. The rehab should be booked and ready before the group confronts the addict. Gather as many people as possible who have an emotional connection to the addict. The more, the better. An intervention cannot be done randomly; it has to happen after a moment of significance. This way, the addict’s psyche cannot live in denial of their behaviour. The message must be the same across the group and delivered in unison. The more you talk, the more you give room for the addict to manipulate or negotiate their agenda. There can only be two options: lose us forever or go to rehab. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help to prepare you emotionally for the moment. An intervention is not an easy thing to do, but when executed correctly, it can save their life forever.

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