Dry Drunk

10 Minutes

Edited & medically reviewed by THE BALANCE Team

Fact checked

CONTENTS

A dry drunk is an alcoholic who has quit drinking but hasn’t changed the emotional or psychological aspects behind their addiction. They still might behave, act, and fight off emotional struggles in the same way they did when they were drinking, although they are sober. This emotional stagnation, however, leaves them unfulfilled, resentful, or irritable — and that can be just as damaging as active alcoholism.

A ‘dry drunk’ is a term used to describe someone who has given up drinking, but still has the same behavior and attitudes that they did while actively addicted [1]. In the context of recovery programs, and specifically Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), the term is used to describe a person who has achieved sobriety but is not necessarily doing the emotional or psychological work required for full recovery. A dry drunk can even go about with the old patterns of thinking, reacting, and coping even without drinking.

Sobriety is more than not drinking or not using drugs. To be sure, physical recovery is important, but so are mental and emotional growth. A dry drunk has stopped drinking but has not dealt with the root causes of the problem that led to their addiction, and so are susceptible to bad behaviors and relapse.

Dry Drunk Syndrome And Its Impact On Recovery

Dry Drunk Syndrome can be a tremendous impediment to long-term sobriety. The syndrome occurs when a person becomes sober but does not take measures to heal emotionally. This means that they are still stuck in their old destructive habits and haven’t replaced them with healthier ones. When in this state, a person can be irritable, restless, or resentful, and may have emotions that had formerly been dulled by alcohol [2]. If they aren’t addressed, the person may turn to more harmful ways to cope – with other unhealthy behaviors like compulsive eating, anger, isolation, and the list can go on.

Dry Drunk Syndrome can be dangerous for those in recovery because it resembles the emotional instability that caused the initial addiction. Those who experience this can experience their road to recovery stalled, as they are not gaining the mental and emotional clarity needed to lead a fulfilling, sober life. Dry Drunk Syndrome is something that needs to be recognized and dealt with if you want to build a durable, long–term recovery.

Common Dry Drunk Behaviors

There are several telltale signs of Dry Drunk Syndrome. These include:

Showing irritability or frustration without any obvious reason.
Lacking joy or fulfillment even while sober activities are shown
Putting their needs above others’ and being self-centered.
Resisting personal growth and often avoiding therapy and self-reflection [2].
Falling into black-and-white thinking, seeing things as one way or the other
Struggling with boredom or a constant feeling of dissatisfaction

Many of these behaviors are left over from the thinking patterns created during active addiction. And that person might not even be aware that their negative attitudes are still in control and that’s putting strain on their day-to-day life and their relationships.

Emotional And Psychological Symptoms Of Dry Drunk Syndrome

In addition to outward behavior, there are many emotional and psychological symptoms of Dry Drunk Syndrome. A person may feel:

Restless or discontent: No matter how good you feel about sobriety, you may find yourself feeling unfulfilled, or wanting to fill the void with something else, another addiction.

Angry or resentful: In recovery, they may think the world has wronged them or that they deserve more than what they’re getting.

Isolated: They may start to feel lonely, as they feel disconnected from other people, especially if they’re avoiding recovery communities.

Depressed or anxious: With alcohol no longer there to dull these feelings, they could be overwhelmed with bad feelings.

Blameful: Instead, they could blame others for feeling unhappy, instead of taking responsibility for how they feel.

Effects On Emotional Stability

Emotional instability can result from Dry Drunk Syndrome. Even after the individual is no longer drinking, emotional reactions might still reflect those of his drinking days. This is the main reason because alcohol was used in the past as a coping mechanism to numb or avoid unpleasant emotions. When alcohol is removed, these underlying issues come back to the surface, and the person doesn’t know how to deal with them.

Someone suffering from Dry Drunk Syndrome may feel out of sorts experience mood swings, and get easily irritated, or frustrated about minor things. Often this emotional instability stems from a deep-seated feeling of dissatisfaction or restlessness; the person feels that without alcohol life is not fulfilling. Lacking emotional regulation can make the simplest of interactions harder, and will often lead to feelings of resentment and anger. This emotional turbulence can over the years affect the person’s mental health and cause anxiety or depression.

Long-Term Effects on the Recovery Process

If it is left unchecked, Dry Drunk Syndrome can ruin the recovery process entirely. Of course, physical sobriety might be sustained, but in the absence of emotional and psychological growth may remain stagnant or revert, just the same. Long-term effects of untreated Dry Drunk Syndrome include:

Relapse Risk: If you don’t address these emotional and psychological issues, then that person may be so overwhelmed by their feelings that they are more likely to turn back to alcohol or drugs to try and get out of it all.

Chronic Dissatisfaction: It is hard to experience joy, or peace without substances, and the individual may never feel content in their recovery. Other addictive behaviors or compulsions can show up in this dissatisfaction.

Isolation and Relationship Breakdown: The strained relationships with friends and family usually result from emotional instability. This can lead the individual to push away their support system which makes it that much more difficult to stay sober.

Mental Health Deterioration: If the person does not engage in recovery work that has to do with emotional healing, anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions may worsen [2]. Declining mental health can only make things worse for them as they struggle to stay sober.

It’s important to address these long-term effects as soon as possible for anyone looking to continue to live a sober life and have a fulfilling life without alcohol.

Dry Drunk Syndrome and Relationships

Dry Drunk Syndrome can wreak a lot of havoc on personal relationships. It can bring with it emotional and behavioral changes that can lead to frustration and hurt feelings toward those who love you. A lot of times the issue is that the person is still obsessed with the unresolved emotions that make up their addiction, and so they become more self-centered and less empathetic. At the extreme, this behavior can make partners, friends or family feel neglected or unappreciated.

Moreover, Dry Drunk Syndrome also creates increased irritability and frustration which can then result in more frequent relationship conflicts. An individual may take out their anger on their loved ones, or suddenly become excessively critical to create a rift between them and the people who are trying to help them recover. If allowed to continue, eventually trust and intimacy becomes eroded, and relationships can become unhospitable.

The second issue is a breakdown of communication because a person may not be willing to communicate his or her feelings openly. Without this transparency, loved ones are left in the dark, they won’t know what the individual is going through or how to help him.

Dry Drunk Syndrome can occur in small, but devastating, ways in everyday life. Someone with this issue may appear sober on the outside but may still think and act like they did when they were in active addiction.

Here are a few common examples:

Routine Complaints and Resentment: In addition, the individual may complain a great deal of the time about their life circumstances, blaming others for their problems or feeling that life is unfair to them. They tend to resent their loved ones, their job, and sometimes their recovery.

Lack of Emotional Growth: The person may never do any emotional self-reflection even months or years after sobriety. If they don’t have those desires, then they may avoid therapy, or anything else that requires vulnerability and introspection, instead choosing to remain on surface conversations or doing hobbies that don’t ask too much of them emotionally.

Isolation and Withdrawal: A Dry Drunk Syndrome person can be someone who doesn’t want to socialize with people and would rather be alone even though he may be lonely. Through this isolation, one is avoiding accountability and criticism of others.

Rigid Thinking and Control Issues: They could show black-and-white thinking, believing things or people are all good or all bad. They are so rigid, that even their relationships become rigid, they expect others to meet their needs without reciprocating, without compromise.

Focusing on External Changes: Instead, the person might get caught up in external workings to the point of focusing on everything apart from their interior emotional status. They might believe a new relationship, a new item, or a new job will help bring them all that happiness they never seem to feel.

Dealing with a loved one who is experiencing Dry Drunk Syndrome can be challenging, but there are strategies that family and friends can use to navigate this difficult situation:

Set Boundaries: Loved ones need to set clear boundaries of what behavior is acceptable. Empathy and support are great, but enabling negative behaviors will make the situation worse. When you set boundaries, you’re saying, ‘This is what you can do because this is what happens if you don’t behave.’

Encourage Open Communication: Create an environment of open, honest conversation. It might mean helping the person directly to work through their emotional struggles if they are capable of that, but with compassion. Keeping lines of communication open means staying away from confrontational and judgmental tones.

Suggest Therapy or Counselling: Get the person to try professional help, therapy, or counseling. Also, a person might not realize that he needs outside support to address his unresolved emotional issues. They are more inclined to be open to the idea if you can present therapy as a nonjudgmental option.

Support Their Recovery Work: Attend meetings with them or join in activities that carry their mind in the right direction and help with their personal growth. It can remind them that they’re not alone and with the process come ups and downs.

Practice Patience: What is important to remember, is that recovery is a long and complex process. It’s difficult to watch a person suffer from Dry Drunk Syndrome, but patience and understanding will create the emotional safety necessary to open up and make changes.

Helping a Loved One Overcome Dry Drunk Syndrome

Helping someone to get over Dry Drunk Syndrome is a fine line between support and accountability. Here are some ways you can assist:

Normalize the Emotional Struggles: Tell your loved one that what they’re experiencing is not unique and that most in recovery go through the same. This can help validate them (and hopefully reduce their sense of isolation).

Introduce New Coping Mechanisms: Encourage them to find healthy ways to cope with emotional stress, whether that’s through meditation, a journal, or exercise. These activities can be an alternative to the emotional avoidance that they used to do during addiction.

Stay Positive and Encouraging: It’s a long process and having a positive attitude goes a long way. Praise their progress regardless of how small, and remind them that emotional growth is possible if you keep it up.

Dry Drunk Syndrome prevention comes from participating actively in emotional healing and personal growth while on the recovery journey. Just avoiding alcohol is not enough to escape Dry Drunk Syndrome.

Here are some practical steps to prevent this condition:

Continued Involvement in Recovery Programs: It is important to regularly attend support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). These programs promote emotional sharing, accountability, and personal reflection to keep individuals on track with emotional and mental well-being. It also keeps the importance of being part of a sober community at the forefront.

Engaging in Therapy: Therapy can be a very good way to try to discover what the underlying emotional issues are that might have caused the addiction in the first place. People who are struggling with resolving unresolved feelings, and stress, and learning better ways to cope with emotions, can benefit from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or other therapeutic approaches [1].

Building a Balanced Life: It is however important as much as possible to fill life with worthwhile activities that could avoid boredom or dissatisfaction. This may be anything from a hobby to career advancement to volunteer work. Purposeful and fulfilling activities enable deep experiences of emotional satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment.

Developing Healthy Coping Strategies: This is key, to learning how to manage stress, anxiety, and all other emotional challenges without going back to old habits. All this requires would be to practice mindfulness meditation, engage in regular physical activity, as well as write or journal [2]. What these practices do is offer individuals the tools so that they do not have to suppress or avoid them, instead process their emotions in healthy ways.

Maintaining Supportive Relationships: strong emotional well-being is dependent on staying connected to supportive friends and family. Open communication among loved ones sets up a safety net such that individuals can say what they are struggling with, and be able to get advice or encouragement when they need it.

Personal Reflection and Growth: The recovery process requires regular self-reflection. It’s important to understand one’s emotional state; and journaling, meditating, or attending workshops are all ways to do so to prevent the stagnation that can lead to Dry Drunk Syndrome.

1. Choosing Therapy. Dry Drunk Syndrome: What It Is, Symptoms, & How to Cope. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/dry-drunk/

2. Medical News Today. What is ‘dry drunk syndrome,’ and whom does it affect? https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/dry-drunk-syndrome

3. Web MD. What to Know About Dry Drunk Syndrome. https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/what-to-know-dry-drunk-syndrome

FAQs

Can Someone Who Never Attended Formal Recovery Programs Experience Dry Drunk Syndrome?

Dry Drunk Syndrome is possible in people who stop drinking without formal recovery programs. Although they are no longer drinking, these individuals are not addressing, nor exploring their emotional and psychological issues related to their addiction. However, these individuals often do not get the assistance and support that is available through structured recovery programs and, as a result, can continue their negative behaviors and thought patterns, so that they are still very ‘dry drunk’ – emotionally sober.

Does Dry Drunk Syndrome Make You More Likely To Relapse?

Dry Drunk Syndrome makes relapse more probable. Those who experience it usually realize they aren’t fulfilled or resentful despite their sobriety and resort to the comfort or escape of alcohol again. They’re stuck in an emotional turmoil, with unresolved issues, and this is what can make them frustrated, and drinking seems like a good solution, as long as they don’t work on their mental health and personal growth.

Is Dry Drunk Syndrome Only Related To Alcohol Addiction?

Dry Drunk Syndrome can be seen in anyone recovering from any substance addiction — not just alcohol. Dry Drunk Syndrome is more common in the alcohol recovery circles, but individuals who have quit using drugs, or other addictive substances, can also be afflicted with emotional stagnation and unresolved issues, which make a person a dry drunk. Any form of addiction recovery is the result of refusing to grow emotionally or deal with psychological issues.

Can Dry Drunk Syndrome Appear After Years Of Sobriety?

Dry Drunk Syndrome can develop even after years of successful sobriety. Long-term sobriety can sometimes create a sense of safety, which can cause a person to forget to tend to their ongoing emotional and mental health. If they stop doing all the things they were doing to grow, recover, or get better, then the unresolved issues from their addiction can come back and the symptoms of Dry Drunk Syndrome will return. This is why it’s so important to commit to emotional health long-term, not just abstinence from alcohol or drugs.

How Does Spirituality Help You Overcome Dry Drunk Syndrome?

For those who are open to it, spirituality can have a big part to play in ending Dry Drunk Syndrome. A large number of recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous emphasize a spiritual angle to healing by urging people to dig deeper into why they became addicted and how they can recover differently. It doesn’t necessarily have to be religion, but it is a sense of connection with something bigger than yourself.
Spiritual growth can contribute to replacing feelings of emptiness or resentment with a feeling of peace, purpose, and wholeness, to emotional recovery.

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Alcohol Insights

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