Deal with Intermittent Explosive Disorder

First, you must recognize that you are not accountable for calming down an angry person. They must be accountable for their own behavioral and psychological wellness. If someone you are concerned about has IED and you wish to assist them during their outbursts, you can use certain de-escalation strategies.

An effective de-escalation takes patience and calm. Try to dissociate as much as possible from your sentiments during the incident. It may be advantageous to acknowledge that the IED suspect’s behavior is beyond their control.

Individuals with IED may experience tremendously intense emotions, underdeveloped defense mechanisms (such as denial and projection), and ineffective reality-checking. All of these factors can make it virtually impossible to reason with them. Instead, you defuse. Here are a few particular de-escalation tactics that may be effective in the event of IED explosions:

• Use gentle language instead of demeaning the individual.
• Remain close enough to create rapport without invading the person’s personal space.
• Utilize collaborative problem-solving strategies to reinforce the individual’s sense of autonomy. For instance, you can ask, “What can I do to rectify this?”
• Don’t give unreasonable demands or engage in internal strife.
• Recognize the person’s rage. They may express their emotions so long as they do not cause harm to themselves or others.
• Offer face-saving options to their aggression, such as a period of cooling off.
• Employ active listening abilities, which demonstrate positive engagement.
• Offer empathic remarks, such as, “It sounds like you’re in a lot of pain.”
• Do not revisit what occurred or who was to blame. Continue to consider various solutions to the situation.
• Use calm nonverbal cues and a sympathetic tone of voice on purpose. Do not add to the drama.
• Utilize positive reinforcement once the individual has regained control.

If you feel intimidated, you will need to adopt a more assertive stance. You may need to switch from a supportive to a controlling position or relocate to a safe area.

A partner of a person with IED may be familiar with the person’s emotional triggers and notice the signals of an impending outburst. For instance, a person carrying an IED may shake, have chest tightness, or become irritated. However, this does not mean that a partner can avoid the occurrence. They may even serve as the initial line of defense.

A loved one may see intense IED outbursts as emotional tyranny. It is never acceptable for someone to become physically or verbally abusive in an intimate relationship. Completely limit the person’s access to weapons and dangerous objects that they could use to hurt themselves or others. Create a plan of escape that you can implement if you feel intimidated.

Sadly, only a minority of IED sufferers receive treatment. They might never recognize the detrimental effects of their uncontrollable explosive episodes. If the person you love is unwilling to acknowledge they have a problem and work on moderating their impulsive aggression, you may need to leave the situation permanently to protect yourself.